Top 10 Magic: The Gathering Sets of the Decade

As we prepare to enter a new decade, it is only fitting that we glance back at all of Magic's great achievements over the last ten years. Here is a brief look back at the shining stars that have made this game endure.

10. Odyssey

Odyssey gave us what we finally wanted. Squirrels. Squirrels Squirrels Squirrels Squirrels. Squirrels proved a very successful and popular decktype, reshaping the landscape of Green for years to come. In further expansions, we saw cards like Morphing Squirrel, Myr Squirrel, Patron Oni Squirrel, Squirrel of the Guildpact, Planar Squirrel, Gilt-Leaf Squirrel, and Squirrel of Alara. It is even rumored that the mysterious hedrons of Zendikar are filled with- you guessed it- loads and loads of squirrels!

9. Nemesis

One word: Fading. Fading is the best mechanic the game has ever seen, even though it sounds dangerously like "Phasing." Here's how it works:

Creature XX

Fading 3 (This creature comes into play with 3 fading counters on it. At the end of your turn check to see how many counters are on it. Wait, that's not right. At the beginning of your upkeep, or just during your upkeep, or sometime during your turn if you forget, remove a fading counter from this creature. If you run out of fading counters, don't get stressed. Wait. Yes, actually that's bad. When you run out of fading counters, sacrifice the permanent. Right now. Or just sometime.)

8. Mirrodin

Wizards wanted to be tricky with this one. They realized there was only one chance to have an artifact set in extended at the same time as Urza's Block, kekekekeke! So why not unleash a whole new slew of format-shattering artifacts so that Tolarian Academy can become even more of a win-mill than before? They also came up with this clever keyword:

Affinity- As long as you're playing an artifact deck, don't worry about tapping any lands to cast your spells. Even if they cost 11.

7. Coldsnap (snow lands luls!)

Oh what the fuck where the fuck Magic Hell did this set come from!? 

6. Kamigawa Block

Who wouldn't want a 2/3 flying moth sentry dude for 6 mana? After all, they burble! How cute! The cool art on these cards should distract the players from the mana costs. 

5. M10

Fucknuts! "Let's go all out, it's time to ruin the game forever again. But this time, it's going to be in a core set! They won't see that coming!" 

Serra Sucks Now Angel 3WW

Flying, Too Many Other Abilities

5/5

In case you're wondering, you're lucky to find a Baneslayer Angel for less than the cost of your auto insurance payment. In addition, they decided to flavorfully rename everything. Play is now called "the Battlefield," Removed from Game is now "Exiled," Hand is now called "Idea thoughts Zone," Library is now called "Spells you intend to acquire soon Zone,"  and the graveyard is now called "Recently expired spells Zone." Great work!

4. Time Spiral

 How do you ensure a set will be popular? Take everything that has gone well and mix it into one giant bowl. This will also entice new players, who will have no problem figuring out what a creature with Flying, Phasing, Poisonous 2, Suspend 1U, Transmute 1UU, and Dredge 4 does.

3. Legions

All creatures you control are now creatures. No, seriously. Players love creatures. Why not make a set that is all creatures? You know what, players also love basic land. So why not make a set that is entirely basic land? Wizards dodged the bullet on this one, realizing it would probably be a bad idea to make every card in Zendikar a basic land, despite the overwhelmingly positive reaction to having to shove the square peg into the round hole by somehow having to manage to playing instants as creatures. But all this didn't stop them from their clever idea that makes number 2...

2. Alara Reborn

All spells you play are now gold. No, seriously. Players love gold cards. Why not make a set that is all gold? Alara Reborn did something bold here. It declared that one-drops don't really matter. On that note, basic land doesn't really matter either. Or casual fridays. Or running water. Or oxygen. Hey, you've got gold!

1. Prophecy

Prophecy revolutionized Magic in many ways. The sheer power of this set led to many tournament players being simply unwilling to use any of its cards in sanctioned play, ever. Wizards R&D were slapping their foreheads when players found it all too easy to play spells and abilities that could be countered by 1 colorless mana, when their opponents simply chose not to. Prophecy is grandly revered, and led to a long combo winter where players were not allowed to use cards like Rhystic Cave and Sunken Field. Basic land became far more interesting. For example:

Island

Tap: Add U to your mana pool unless an opponent pays 1.

Prophecy is the pinnacle of overpowered magic sets, bumping out the old "Power 9" list and ushering in a new "Power 143." Congrats, Prophecy.

Hakim Loreweaver Exclusive Interview: Hanna, Ship's Navigator

HAKIM- Welcome back, everyone! Today we have a very very special guest with us! A key figure in the ongoing war on Phyrexia, Hanna has taken some time away from her duties to speak with us. Hanna, it's been a few years. How's the plague treating you?

HANNA- Good, I guess. [cough]

HAKIM- How's the crew, has the ship been holding up okay?

HANNA- Yes; it has not crashed or been captured in 59 days, so it's been doing well. [cough] Hopefully it won't happen again.

HAKIM- Well, can't you just give the ship shroud?

HANNA- What?

HAKIM- Hanna's custody, gives your artifacts shroud.

HANNA- Oh. Well you do realize there's a difference between the cards and real life?

HAKIM- Well, yes, to some extent I suppose that's true. I don't want to say that you are less capable than the cards portray you to be.

HANNA- I can fix just about anything. [cough]

HAKIM- Yes, I'm sure. Speaking of fixing things, when was the last time you spoke with your father?

HANNA- Since we picked up Ertai at the school.

HAKIM- What did he tell you?

HANNA- That Crovax and Starke are a bad influence and I shouldn't be galavanting with furries.

HAKIM- Do you think he just misses you?

HANNA- Yeah, I think so. I think he mostly worries that my interest in artifice will cause me to wind up in a similar position Urza is in. [cough]

HAKIM- Let's be real here. Even if there were a continent left unmarred by the invasion, I hardly think you're capable of the scale of destruction Urza is infamous for.

HANNA- Well I do appear in the art or flavor text of most of the overpowered and combo cards from Tempest block. By your logic, I could practically do whatever I want. [cough]

HAKIM- Hmm, that's a good point. How has your mother's death affected you?

HANNA- WHAT!! [cough] [wheeze]

HAKIM- Your mother, she was killed at the end of Prophecy.

HANNA- [cough][cough][wheeze][cough]

HAKIM- Hanna, are you okay?

HANNA- [gurble]

HAKIM- Hanna?

HANNA- 

HAKIM- ....

HANNA- 

HAKIM- Coming up, folks! We have a preview of an unnamed card from the upcoming Invasion expansion, a black sorcery that allows you to return a card from your graveyard AND draw a card! Nifty!

Legends

Chandra A' Bakin' Cookies

Harmonix Announces Rock Band: Crovax

DOMINARIA- The long awaited announcement of the next Rock Band installation was made Monday morning, the game to be headlined by heavy metal shock-rocker and Evincar of Rath, Crovax. The game follows the smash success of the Chainer edition earlier this year, which featured grunge and techno tracks and impressive stage visuals that included Chainer getting whipped in an arena battle, and violently mutating into a bubbling, bulging, seething mass of flesh after the final song. The Crovax version will have similarly inventive effects including beheadings of well-known Rathi villains with his WarBeast guitar, and many sorts of angel-slaying madness before backdrops like Volrath's Stronghold and Overgrown Estate.

Crovax has covered a number of popular metal songs across his career, including "School's Out," "Blood Ocean," and "Tonight I'm Gonna Rock You Tonight," all of which will appear as playable tracks in the game.

Belbe, Ertai, and Greven round out the rest of the band's playable characters.

Broodstar Annihilates Some More Random Crap

MIRRODIN- "Bzeeeeeeeeee-eeeeeeeeeee-owuahowuah-ZIP ZIP ZIP byooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop ZAM ZAM EE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE- pew pew pew"

"VvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT.

Poa poa poa POA MYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERP ZOCK.

zocka zocka zocka zock zockzockzockzockzock pfffffffffffffffffvvvvvvvrrrrvvrvvrvrvrvrvrvrvrrvrvr kakakakakakaakakkkkkkkkkkkkrrrrrrtttrrttrtrtrtrrtr

PPPPHAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAaAaAaAaAaANNNGGGG!!!

Boooooooo. Booooooo.. Booooaaaaaaaah. BOOOAAAAAAAAAOOOA OOOH AAAAAAAH OOOOAAAAAH PO! PO! PO! ZAGGGGRAAAGGGGRAAAAGGGGR GGRRAAAGGH RRAAGH UUAAAH UUUUAAAHHH BREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN PLOOOGGG GOOOOOORAAAAAAA PEW PEW GORF BAAP BAAAAAP AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDD SSSSSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Michiko Konda Will Stop At Nothing To Be Abducted

EIGANJO CASTLE- Lord Konda was left once again pondering his daughter's whereabouts monday morning when it was discovered that the immense weight of the guilt placed on her by her father's embarrassingly self-destructive rule had moved her to request another kidnapping at the hands of handsome outlaw Toshiro Umezawa. 

"I don't know why she must always be the kidnapped! Her cell very nice!" Lord Konda angrily weighed in, referring to her imprisonment at his hands. Lord Konda's popularity dropped sharply twenty years ago after he sacrificed the peace, welfare, and happiness of his kingdom for 'total power,' though over what remains to be seen, and news that Michiko is galavanting with the rogue Umezawa has further marred his reputation. Masako refused to comment, requesting not to appear on any humor blogs. Takeno chortled when asked when Michiko might return.

"I just want to be freeeeeeeeeeeee as the wind blows!" Michiko then sang, gliding by on a giant moth. 

Lord Yawgmoth's New Bakery Talk of the Town

BENALIA- The powerful Phyrexian overlord took matters into his own hands Saturday morning after growing tired of his Inner Circle's centuries of failures in killing Urza Planeswalker, and hosted a bake sale to commemorate the new cookie-making establishment called "Rebbec's Tasty Treats." The cookies are embedded with tracking devices that the Lord hopes will map out a pattern to lead him to the planeswalker, using cookie cutters in the likeness of people close to him such as Ratepe, Tawnos, Radiant Archangel (extra crispy), Jhoira, Teferi, and Rayne in an attempt to draw in acquaintences of Urza, although the Rayne cookies' heads kept breaking off. Business has been successful, if not somewhat one-sided.

"I like to chomp chomp chomp the Barrin cookies. Sweet, sweet revenge." A negator rattled.

"These Xantcha cookies are so tasty. No crumb can go to waste!" A sleeper agent savored, scooping up all the grains off of her cloak. 

It has been confirmed that a few human patrons have stopped in at the shop, but none could vouch for the quality of the cookies as black oil bled out of their eyes and mouth until they died.

Mark Rosewater: Master Decoy is "Totally Gay"

WIZARDS- Next week is Gay Pride week on www.magicthegathering.com, and the web is abuzz with rumors of what the week's site content will yield. Some say to expect an announcement of two 5-color "rainbow" duel decks "Gays  vs. Lesbians" featuring cards like Phelddagrif, Chandler, Clergy en-Vec, Rod of Spanking, and Coumbajj Witches to help support the theme of totally gay imagery. Players then speculated which mechanics would make it in, and began deliberating over which were gay enough to merit inclusion. Contributors decided Banding, Poison, and Phasing were "so gay" and that Horsemanship should be included to balance it out, and give the decks more of a Daniel Radcliffe feel. Ever teasing, Mark Rosewater enticed followers with a simple clue, by exclaiming, "Hey guys, playtesting these new decks I can't talk about. Master Decoy is Totally Gay." The statement piqued the rumor mill's curiosity, with players firmly deciding he must have been referring to the original Tempest artwork, which is a Foglion and depicts a man riding a zebra through a purple field. Nothing similar would appear on more recent Magic cards, after the sweeping "Less Silly Art" policy was put into place during 7th edition.

An insider says we are likely to get a peek at the first gay planeswalker in the near future.