Hakim: Hello everyone. We have a very special guest for you today. Please welcome the one, the only, Multani, Maro-Sorcerer!
[applause]
Hakim: Good to see you, Multani. How was the trip? How did you even get here, I can't imagine your big barkey legs fit too well on an air liner.
Multani: Pollen seeds.
Hakim: Pollen seeds.
Multani: Yes- [pausing] Yes. And then I took form from a tree.
Hakim: [laughing] You did! Where?
Multani: There's a quaint old neighborhood a few blocks south, very well wooded. So I picked a yard and uprooted myself from there.
Hakim: What about the residents? When they come home and their tree is gone! Or were they home?
Multani: There was a woman inside the house screaming her head off.
Hakim: Why not go with a tree from a public area, like a state park? They have nice big oaks, all over.
Multani: Too much dog pee. And oaks feel all nutty.
Hakim: Have you ever found yourself carrying a bird's nest? I mean, would that be embarrassing?
Multani: I am aware of all life within and without, so no, that has never happened.
Multani: Evil Dead.
Hakim: That was a quick answer. Might I ask why?
Multani: I always support films about empowered forests. I usually only watch the one scene though, I watch that scene a few times and then I put in The Two Towers and giggle at the ent-speak and how nobody else knows what they're really saying.
Hakim: The tree rape scene?
Multani: I prefer the term "Yavimaya Embrace."
Hakim: Have you ever thought about settling down? Any romance on the front?
Multani: I don't understand.
Hakim: You know, a personal relationship. For the purpose of procreation.
Multani: Tree intercourse is not like mammal intercourse. It's even more boring than fish intercourse. You can't even really call it that.
Hakim: There's something we've been picking our brains at for a long time, how does a forest gain sentience?
Multani: It takes hundreds of thousands of years, and is very rare. That makes the storyline more interesting. That's why The Lord of the Rings is so interesting, is because all the species are either almost extinct, recently extinct, or on the verge of total annihilation.
Hakim: Argoth was totally annihilated. Obviously you have had some hard feelings about that, based on those photos of Urza being tortured for years that leaked onto the internet.
Multani: Yes, well, Titania was a brave being. Yavimaya aches for her, but Urza and I have settled our differences and are working together against the Phyrexians.
Hakim: You gave him a gift.
Multani: Yes, well, that boat is a bad motherfucker.
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