Wizards to Revise Maligned Prophecy Novel, Will be "Less Shitty"

WIZARDS- After the reprinting of the Artifacts Cycle novels, the expert overseers of Magic came to the grim realization that many of the other novels covering the rest of the lore are, well, complete garbage. In response, MaRo has proposed a revision project to bring the lore up to date in preparation for the next collection release, starting with the book most chock-full of wasted ink in order to bring up the overall average quality of the novels. Here are some of the changes that will be taking place:

• Characters not appearing in the novel will not be featured on the back cover
• Latulla will use the words "exile" and "enters the battlefield" more frequently
• The thresher beast encounter will be replaced with a mud-wrestling competition between Jolrael and Rayne
  
• Jolrael will be spelled correctly 
  
• The Barrin/Rayne sex scene will not be "  ***  " 'd out, and several pages of the Keldon leaders' describing wagon wheels not operating properly in muddy conditions will be removed to make room.
• Rhystic magic will be replaced by cool landfall technology
• The Keldon main camp will be protected by a plausibility force field, in order to make the last 260 pages make more sense
• Teferi will spend 60% less time on zeppelins
• Greel will be scrapped, his scenes to be replaced by another inexplicable reemergence of Gix, because the novels in which that happens (The Thran, The Brothers' War, Planeswalker) are all highly acclaimed
• Jace Beleren, somehow
• Garruk, somehow
• The main characters will appear (lauded as the most brilliant idea of the session)
• Haddad will get his own 8-hour Roots-style film saga telling of his capture, enslavement, and repeated escape attempts

In addition, it has been suggested that the Mirrodin novels should now have a plot, but no ideas on how to achieve this end have surfaced.